The New Me

These are the results of what you left behind
The days are long gone, and that me is hard to find
You say you hate me now and all that I’ve become
You don’t believe I’m true to where I came from
Let me enlighten you, shed some light to the truth
If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have learned I knew
How to grow from the old, scared and timid girl
Into this woman now, someone you can’t control
Never thought it would be this way
You’d be calling and I’d walk away
Surely your power trip days
Have come beneath me, and there you will stay
I never wanted this, never meant to turn into her
All I know is this works, and it keeps my head higher.
I may seem meaner and prouder,
Still my stride a lot stronger
With no authority over me you have nothing to lose or gain
This is how I turned out when I let go of you and the pain
So keep on criticizing, Keep on talking, keep lying
That who I was yesterday is what you’re still desiring
I’ll draw you a map to nowhere
That’s where you’re bound to find her
I moved all the mountains from there
One being you, now my path is clear
God only knows how much
It killed me, that simple touch
Near as one heartbeat
So close I could feel you breathe
From letters to words to what lies beneath
Stutter to stutter, my heart in a flutter
And if you ever wondered
Right there, I’ve never been better
No sweeter, No one had ever
Come closer than we were

My heart revealed
My secrets unraveled
In every conversation
My thoughts unveiled

Pressure had never pressed
The way your words caressed
The thought of you possessed me
Through all u had professed to be
Felt like a burning fire
Scorched me from deep inside, desires
Moments of impatience
Pouring love in abundance
Settled so close to your voice
Enchanted, stood still; poised
Every feeling I tried to avoid
Came bustling forth without a choice

So near, as one heartbeat,
So close I could feel you breathe

But those were the days when I was shyer
A lot less louder, a whole lot kinder
You made a difference then
But we had our differences
Desires so different
Left me feeling indifferent
Feeling secluded but your words, so profane
Trying to convince me I had only myself to blame,
Never considered twice, thought it was a game
But I wasn’t playing, not calling no names
My heart hit a home run, yet we were stuck on first base
And before I knew it we both needed some space.
Living in illusions, ridiculous, delusional
Can’t hold it against you, you’re still in denial
You say I changed, though you’ve never known who I am
If I pointed it out, you’d call the whole thing a scam
Pardon my boldness, it’s just a warning
Before you assume, take look at the turning
Point, a moment where all was changed
Without a single word exchanged
And neither you nor I to blame
Seems like the whole world got in the game
I backed off a minute just to watch how its played
From then on the benches, by the sidelines I stayed
No one who knew me seemed to have much to say
Yet you gave up my rights, and let the new rules be made
Before you know it, we came to an end
Lovers to stranger, though you thought we’d be friends
What we had been through
Feels like ages ago
Still keeps on knocking
Knocking on my door.

I got the padlock, the bolt lock
And even the chain lock
keeping my doorway blocked
And my heart completely locked

I’m walking taller and stronger now
My head held much higher now
Reduces the hurt somehow
To show you my head won’t bow
I am the image you carved
Out of the love you had let starve
The girl I was before you came by
And the girl I’ve become since you’ve said your goodbye.
Your presence and absence once had me shook
But now I’m resurrecting the me that past authors took

Roja Ariel Douglas

December 27, 2012.

duets with other poets – flitashez

flirtashez:

I love what he’s done with the poem. A whole new perspective.

Originally posted on BeyondBorders:

Character Sketch

“…the more you love the more you suffer…”

-Lao Tzu

 

RADdreamz1AlexGrey.com

 

I wrote of love

a tale of pinot and roses   

And a first kiss

lips uncorking ancient bottles   

Envisioned a life

of silver grapes and harvest moons

Full of dreams and bliss

ruby lips and sapphire poses

Pictured conversations

ending in sweet incantations   

Of all that matter and don’t,

of honey bees and dragonflys   

Over coffee, or wine

through starless nights and onyx moons

Or with our TV on.

amidst bitter accusations

Promised I would solve

the enigmas in the shadows

All the possible fights.

meaningless recriminations

In the form of poetry

or mystical theology

I shared my plights.

we pierced our hart with vile arrows

Perfectly balanced

you crushed fruit into vinegar

Love and war

preserving equanimity

Waged among us

fermenting sour futility

Within, forevermore.

languor decanting our anger

And…

View original 98 more words

Character Sketch

I wrote of love

And a first kiss

Envisioned a life

Full of dreams and bliss

Pictured conversations

Of all that matter and don’t,

Over coffee, or wine

Or with our TV on.

Promised I would solve

All the possible fights.

In the form of poetry

I shared my plights.

Perfectly balanced

Love and war

Waged among us

Within, forevermore.

And some time later

You spotted me somewhere.

Had a smirk on your face

And fixated stare.

Love at first sight,

Or the beginning of strife?

Whatever this may be,

I think I wrote you into life.

Roja Ariel Douglas
November 6, 2013.
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Love

The one fall she never recovered from,
Is the only one she never regretted.
She called it love.

Roja Ariel Douglas
May 19,2014.

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All That I Love

Sunlight through stain glass
Soprano voices and church organs
Sun-kissed skin in tones of brass
Bronze and cinnamon tans
All that I love, I want it all.

A full moon on still night ponds
Or raindrops causing ripples through
Intricate moves of the chessboard pawns
The knight that crossed unevenly too
All that I love, I want it all.

Morning dew on green lawns
Humming birds that to and fro dart
Love, like beautiful white swans
Forever together, never to part
All that I love, I want it all.

Hymns, songs and poetry alike
Of quarrels within captured hearts,
Or glass slippers dropped when midnights strike
“happily ever afters”,”til death do us parts”
All that I love, I want it all.

Roja Ariel Douglas
May 18, 2014.

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